Life Etcetera

Redirection to AainaA Lifestyle

2005-11-04T00:33:00.000-08:00

I'm inviting you to drop by AainaA Lifestyle. Primarily because...

I no longer blog here. This blog will be archived here at Google's Blogspot, and the rest will be readable at Lifestyle Redefined {I should add that Lifestyle Undefined, would most likely suit the site!}

To change your favourite bookmark, please click here

You will perchance to entertain yourselves at Etcetera, a section within the humble magazine.

Thank you for keeping in touch,
Lord Bless,

AA

Chapter 1

2005-10-20T02:00:00.000-07:00

The sound of silence scrapes in, clawing itself banging the eardrums from within, telling me that its time to contemplate the next rancid, if not bittersweet event that is to unfold in a couple of weeks. I had seen to many deceptions, heard too many lies. I do not think I can consume the next ultra-negative wave rippling its way across the world making its presence heard, and felt in one common channel, over cable. These past few years had been difficult for everyone I know. It seems like the art of living, of loving has ebbed its way against the shores of commercialism, and people did not seem to care anymore.

Money had always been a god, and idolatry seemed to be à la mode.

“Don’t you love him any longer?” I asked Anja. She shook her head. They had been together for almost six years, seven days weekly almost ten hours daily. It is like seeing a married couple going through a separation bent on the polarities of egos clotting onto soft cement. I cannot seem to fathom why Anja decided not to leave for Europe with Dam. He is a kind man. Compassionate and wealthy enough to spend his hard-earned cash to buy her goodies to no end for almost five years. He even cared for the stray litter she had brought home. He had even uttered that he would give his life for her to be contented. What a fool, I thought. Now, I no longer wonder why love seem drenched through the hearts of those who profess loving when in the beginning of a friendship, one should know, or is able to perceive the hint of separation by the tone of the voices, and the exchange of glances.

Not every promise needs to materialise in heaven. One can hope, but reality is often blunt.

The October winds are dry and callous. It would have been a change to experience autumn after sixteen years of squatting, and trying to survive in Malaysia. With the hellish humid heat, only the crazy foreigners can afford to live here. It is too humid and hard for one who has embraced the kiss of heaven, a state of mind the French would undoubtedly agree as a savoir-vivre of sorts even when one has to tighten the belt eating nothing but soupe à l’oignon, even in summer. The state of evolution and migration of intellectual experience is non-existent in Kuala Lumpur. Yes, you can find urban Malaysians who are equally reserved, and intellectual. Most, if not all have migrated either to Australia, the United Kingdom, or elsewhere across the Garden, of Eden.

One has to be subconsciously unconscious to be able to live here. As thoughts can become things, you would not really want to share a piece of your happiness with the dead. That would be like offering water to a quenched throat. You can also pretend to like contemporary art, music or even fashion designed and composed by the locals who have hardly lived a vacant life of penury. By embracing the art, and spending a few hundred Ringgit to assume the bearing of a well-bred personality; or wearing masks as hip bourgeois’ learning to sip sparkling wine, because you cannot really afford Champagne, or dislike the idea of getting caught by the local authorities by being a careless Muslim is not really an option.

Whilst plastics are non-biodegradable, the locals are translucent. You can spot a fake a mile away.

Life Etcetera - XI - II

2005-10-20T01:51:00.000-07:00

I need to find a paying job. I am willing to relocate anywhere, even go to Afghanistan if need be, in order to support the Foundation. The current server hosting AainaA.com has expired for almost a week, and I'm now grounded with nothing.

Life is beautiful yes. It can be roses strewn all over if I can only find support for ... the many crazy things I need to do. Afterall, we live in this world for such a "short" time, we need to do something worthwhile for humanity.

I'm applying for social work. It doesn't pay much but it'll help. Until I get something perhaps better, an investor or someone who'd like to work together in bringing the Foundation to reality, I'd focus on that trip to the UK.

Oh... I'm looking for a producer too. For a book to turn into a film. Anyone interested? You know someone who might? You know you'll get a cut somewhere ;-)

Follow suite... with Chapter 1 for the mo'.

Life Etcetera - XI

2005-10-18T01:53:00.000-07:00

Love, often wears a mask.

Deep down within his austere face, I can see a man hard earned by years of sadness, immaculate complexities that never seemed to tear away from his heart. In this sadness, he masks it with a penchant to serve his god; he has placed on an altar. An icon he hardly knows. A god he has, I hope for his sanctity, made peace with.

My father is a hardened man.

He would not open his heart, nor share it with any of us. It would be a pre-composed art if he ever did, and he would do that in front of the world. Talking about his children only when we served our purpose of giving him things in return. Unfortunately, I am one that is not spared his hardness, his cold glances, as if I was never wanted. For he had uttered too many a times, that I had brought him nothing but chagrin, in his world.

I love my father, but of late, he has been impossible. Even love would not despise a child, conditionally.

Note to consider when looking for a spouse or a long-term friend...

1. That he is compassionate of living, and life
2. That he adores animals
3. That he loves beauty, and flowers
4. Most of all, that he appreciates Music.

My father used to be all-caring, until the blood-suckers of his egoistic self, appeared before him. All too willingly, he would embrace them in a dance of favors, alienating us in the shadows of his great self.

I need a man, one who is compassionate, one who is willing to put up with my nonsense, one who would give the world to sneak a cuddle, one who is not afraid of risking life, for something beyond beautiful, be it in spirit or dreams. Someone who thinks alike, someone who knows that Love, wears a mask unconditionally.

Christ Within

2005-10-12T12:37:00.000-07:00

Excerpt From Eminent Trinkets: Christ Within or referred to as Haqqul Yaqqin

Until one has reached its beginning as being the Universal Man {InsaanulKamiil} all else is just child’s play in the playground of the One, Alone.

What is it that’s lacking in you, that you need to find in the other? In other words, what does the-other-than the Lord AlMighty have that you don’t that drives you to want the-other-than the Lord AlMighty?

Words, life, photographs, attraction, promises, tests, all these become a play of the ego, when the self sits at the duality of its essence within and beyond the formed entity itself, and a myriad of dances, colours, and paintings “stories – les histoires / les aventures” rich enough to be a notch worth reminiscing in one’s memory or worth enough to forget, as if the whole structure of existence relies on this exercise alone to make it beguiling enough to live – for the “human-like creature”.

This is what the creature understands, this is what and where it defaults to, this is that thin line that separates the awaken and the sleeper. The blind and the sighted, the deaf from the hearer, etcetera.

In essence there are four times four gates to the human psyche. The north, south, east and west gates, or in other words, the four seasons that cures every curse, the earth, water, air, and fire, the culmination of the Ying and Yang properties, the personalities of the four attributes of the Essences’ Names. These are the veils that enshroud the human from seeing reality so to speak.

When one of these gates are opened, or unveiled, one becomes aware of every living and non-living subsistence. But it is not enough to comprehend the whole nature of the being itself, unless the being itself is in direct unification with the Hu, within the human itself. This is what it’s meant by “having the Christ within” or in the AtTasawwuf language, the HaqqulYaqqin experience. And HaqqulYaqqin is again, with HU Tabaraka wa Ta`Ala.

One may believe in a religion, or books, or bibles and submit physically in a prayer, but when the whole heart {Qalb} is absent, one is deemed an automat, an android.. In order to recognise the heart, and live it, one is obligated to revert to The Source. There can be no other way. There can be no way out of living except through the gates of death {or perceived evolution}. There can be no other way out of birth except through the gates of life.

“For wherever thou turnest, there is the Face of The Lord.”

Where can the flower or fruit relish its experience without knowing of the roots, and how can one fly, without knowing about “wings”.

The labelled and self-proclaimed creature irrespective of its “faith” must realise and relish this experience, and strive to cleanse its path, its thin line before Time itself, takes the course, of its “existence” per se, and reverts him to the non-duality of its essence. Yet its essence is not the essences of the Essence. There is therein, a thin line {SiratulMustaqiim / Barzakh}, which separates the common home, to the Kingdom

... and that is to live within the oceans and embracing the Light. Knowledge of the Light is not enough to become it. A human-like creature lives within the three dimensions. A Human, beyond all dimensions!

So know, and return.

Minus Zero

2005-10-12T01:40:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from Eminent Trinkets: Minus Zero

The perceptive mind, is able to perceive well that the Universe, and all that is within it, as a shell, has a beginning, as well as an end, and this does not relate to the existence of the Soul per se, as the Soul is not abject and subject to, being, in a certain area or space or time.

What begins, or evolve from must return to a source, and in that process, which humans term evolution is a process of what we term the "Universal Breath". Each breath gives and takes away the “life” within the shell. The shell is the one human-like creatures tend to be comfortable with, and tend to live with, perhaps also trying to comprehend its nature of being, or existence per se.

Absolute existence is beyond the human-like creature's comprehension. You would need to break away from the shell, your shell, in order to fully comprehend or perceive what the Universe is and isn’t. Or what you are and are not. One cannot talk about death, unless one has died, and in the metaphorical sense, most humans are actually dead, meaning, they are incapable of perceiving the truth about themselves, and have to resort to hypothesis, and the likes of discoveries based on their perceptive vision which is not in absolute reality, the truth.

As an example, you may say that the Sun is the centre of the Universe, and you would denounce that the Earth be the centre of the universe. Now having known this to be “true” in your perception, you proclaim that all things derive from the sun, instead of its opposite, which is water. If you were to gather enough intelligence of the opposite, you would realise that your abject study of the sun, and “existence” per se, as originating from fire, which the sun is according to your comprehension, then fire would be your need for survival instead of water, yet water accounts for 97% of your existence., and water is what you need to “live”.

Human-like creatures can live without food for a long period, but cannot for the love of Faust live without water. Hence...

The shell is composed of various elements, this you have learnt through trials and error, and splicing of your genetic codes, but this is just the shell we’re talking about. Life, Existence is beyond all these. When you talk about your shoe, it is your shoe that seem to be there, in existence, but it derives from possibly, a leather taken from a calf which again is a shell created and apparent which derived from within the Source.

The Source aliken Life itself, cannot be a created form, for it gives out derivatives from it.

It is only in your perception, a human-like creature's perception that creation evolves as a shoe would evolve from non-shoe to shoe. From skin, to leather, to design, to stitching, to shoe. As in your case of being human, is in your abject comprehension, from and of.....?

In order to know whether the Universe has an ending or a beginning, you’d have to study yourself first. You will not achieve comprehension beyond you, when you have not perceived the idea which is you, the human-like creature.

When you look around you, of murders committed by modern man with sophisticated weaponry, or bare essential hands that choke the gasping throat, the words that kill a heart... suddenly life seemed to have escaped the dead. Suddenly the spirit, the unseen you’ve once made a mockery of seemed to have walked out of the back door, and never to return again to the apparent world.

Every thing is connected.

Every word, page, pearls, DNA, colour, doodle, thing, animate or otherwise. These things apparent in your worlds are reflective of a greater design, a greater tableau, greater meaning. Each person, animal, flower, brooks, trees, cats living are connected. The Arab you see and dislike, the Jew you talk to and are enamoured with, the vagrant you abhor parting your wealth with and make a mockery of, each and everyone of them reflects your being, sane or insane, each and everyone of them play the eye, smile, ear, heart, that directly or indirectly determine your fall or rise in the oceans of Life.

Life, in reality, is not just a whimsical idea of being born, then procreation, then death, cycle in and out. It is far more complex than that. Life is a process of growth and death is the process that determines the successful process of life itself. Breath is a cycle of life, but Life in essence itself is not in need of breath to exist, nor a receptacle to prove its existence.

As in all beginnings, there are endings. And as all birth, be it an idea, there is a realisation of it as a death to give it life. You know what reality, and truth is! You don't need "labels" to discern the Light, from the Fire.

Untouched

2005-10-10T13:05:00.000-07:00

Murmurings, whisper
Hearts thunder
Sights unveiled
Touches

Flights, asunder
Eyelids quiver
Smiles seduced
Hopes

Love borned of desire
Forlorn in solitary
Dances of fire
Shapes

Life as images
Drunk from thoughts
Madness reigns
A Kiss bursts

Showers of Light
Draping senses
Meals relished
In Love, unworded

8 Ramadhan 1426 / 11th October 2005

Life Etcetera - X - vii - ET - IV

2005-10-08T14:08:00.000-07:00

Excerpt From Eminent Trinkets: For The Prophet In All Of Us / A Dream Beyond The Lord's Playground

I no longer exist
in this mad rush to individualise
a page in reality of my so-called “presence”
amongst the crowds for
my voice is unheard
drowning in a love
unconsummated
unwanted yet craving
to touch a lonely heart
as this heart tears and cry
its wound crushed and erased
to an existence unknown
a dream that creates a melody
that pines and sings for a place
to warm the cold
of a dying soul leaving in reverie
for another
What is a dream if unseen
in the mind revolving
like a spiral that burns
resisting to temptation
to escape and become...a reality
whilst it mourns in the night and light
I cease to exist
For I have been purged
shredded like an uncalled idea
within this reality which is not mine
as He is One then what am I a
flame within a concept of light, a cold
bearing steel within a nightmare to
be shaken up and forgotten for I no
longer exist in your world of physical
nature an empty envelope devoid
of emotions and feelings of becoming
What am I if not a shadow of your mind,
a dream living awaiting to be
awaken yet I do not exist and can not be
part of a creation when I cease to be
part of a time unknown to mankind
For You have taken this spirit and gave
it mind to think senses to feel yet
somehow it’s wrong for love can never
be told in a parable between these
lines for they.., these lines too do not
exist like I am part of a greater plan
I cease to exist For there can be but
One and that is You my love, as if I
pine for myself when I hurt yet
I do not for I cease to exist in
this folly of a world, for You are One
and all that I touch feel or resist exist
only when You command it so Be and I
become another dream another joy
with unforgotten pain... In this fana of
space unjustified by a limited
understanding of a mind, the spirit
rise to asunder believes it to be an entity
a whole diversity of voices and tongues
that touches a heart that never existed
For I am but a dream spoken of in a
silent world heard in a noiseless space
of what is used to be called a world
where You and I live, where emotions are
felt and remorse are culled in solace
of what is unmistakably challenged by minds
of science Yet how can I fail to see
that only I exist in this body uncharted
like oceans apart where birds fly
effortlessly and smiles bring pleasure
this emotion engulfed in what is called
Love yet that is a word that is I yet,
I cease to exist For there can only be
One I cease to be nor want a need a
hand to hold a heart captured For I
can no longer exist As there can only
be One and that is neither Heaven
nor Earth nor symbols There can only be
One, no time no moments derived in a
heart unseen a whole undiscovered reality
within a dream For I have ceased to become
a dream yet caught in between reality, an
existence that never is yet existence of One
can only be seen for I no longer
exist as there can only be One
These lips do not partake to pleasures
unkind as touches unfelt yet
emotions arise as neither light
or dark the Zen of existence is simply
derived from I yet cannot exist yet
I exist unlike a spiral burnt or drowned
in physical reality to serve but One
yet I am One and exist within
One that exist yet I cease to
become as been commanded
Be and I am, thus everything exists like stars
to guide a lost part of existence towards
a birth and greater understanding of
existence yet I can not fathom yet
I am as I am a right given and so
taken For how can I exist under the
moon in a land turmoiled by bitterness
and love only seem if not felt yet the grass
is always green but the grass too cease
to exist since there can only be One as
Time is a symbol for eternity yet it does not physically
materialise as it fails to be moments for beyond all time
can only be One, I cease to exist as I am not, yet I am,
together as a whole in a dream yet not a reverie,
yet you see and hear me and between us there
is but One, I am like the aircraft flying from zone to
another yet I will do just that in a world
encased as a paper holder and I can see myself
from within yet I cease to exist as I see though
a perfect eye that I created yet I cease to
exist for there can only be One

As complex yet simple explication of existence, man fails to comprehend the nature of existence for he has become trapped in the dream of a seen reality only in his reality that he can see, yet he cannot for his heart, eyes, tongue, ears have been shut-off in a physical realm where only he can understand; for the limited capacities is what I have given to him in this dream forever living as there can only be One Yet there is fear in hearts where fear should not thread and confusions in minds where hearts are clear of the functions yet there is yet a part of the spirit like a child wanting to discover an unrealised dream. As he fights to confront his fears and as the world may mock or jeer him at this conceptualised ideas of wanting so much a need to be fulfilled, he cannot fully realise as yet until he sees and fully accept that in his incapabilities is a power strong that he can command forces of the Heaven and Earth to be One, for he is One although he may not realised the importance of this gift within the context of his reality environment and Self - For reality is One

There can be neither time of past current nor future...

The ‘ink’ as a whole can be seen in two ways - from beyond, a reality within existence of a non-perceived concept - a trail left for others to follow or to lead until the ink stops to a spot where only One exists yet he cannot see beyond the eyes of the heart.

Uncultivated yet conditioned mind lest he opens his
heart to an awakening of the soul
As there can only be One...

Life Etcetera - X - vii - ET - III

2005-10-08T13:58:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from Eminent Trinkets: The Falling and the Unseen

He fails again.

He talks of knowing The Supreme Master, he talks of knowing the four *inner demons, that the Supreme Being has ingrained and triggered in varying degrees in each of his brotherly or sisterly form, and yet when he surrenders to The Emperor or the Nature which he believes he perceives as the Supreme, and tries to grasp Him in all His Splendour, he falls again because he does not see nor comprehend the “nature” that is him. He believes that upon arriving at a particular station, that he is ever capable of conducting miracles. How can he forget? The switching off and on of the capability rest unto the Supreme Master.

He fails again.

The animus that orchestrates his life as such to drink, be merry and copulate. And this is what he perceives to be, not what is ingrained in him. This is one that he cannot escape lest he has been ordained by Him to join the ranks of the Angels and be one with the celestial heavens which awaits him on his return journey from the eternal journey between the created and the creator, the stone and the stoned, the living and all the faculties.

He has in all his created will, which the man himself is incapable of willing to a degree safe for a switch operated beyond his spaghetti network, a universe that he does not belong or exist safe in his mind or intelligence that he perceives to be his, declares that other than the Law of the Governed is none but chimera, yet he falls like a pebble from atop a valley deep into the gorge of the river swallowing every dust of existence forming a bed of crust for the underworld. He becomes the vessel devoid of his true self which in reality is the main protagonist in The Emperor’s playground. He remembers not the physical is a vehicle taking him from points A to B, or Z but rather he becomes and believes himself to be true to his vocation and convictions.

The current world that is physically embedded in the crux or centre of all creation. The Unseen world within Mankind and his environmental sphere itself is what the human cannot fathom, for his limited understanding of his ephemeral being and that beyond his sphere is only given to certain of his genre. Yet again, as he falls, he is able to perceive correctly in a nanosecond a film being replayed, rewind, replayed, rewind, again many times within his intelligence or the mind which is again, in a manner of speaking invisible to the naked eye.

Yet how can something invisible control mankind in as much that Nature or The Emperor controls the movements of the heavens. When one is able to perceive and discern this inner ascendancy, then the world and that around him becomes one. This is our right as humans to be able to differentiate who we truly are as opposed to who we think we truly are. The soul is ascertain of its capacities and is not beset by the physical aspect of the physical and beyond the sphere or the environment of its existence, the ephemera which is the mantle enveloping its finer ethereal self, is incapable of understanding the torment, for the tormented is not the being in all its glory, the light of The Emperor, the nuclei of the whole system but rather the pleasures conjured by the inner demons to lead imperfect mankind from his journey, stopping short, and making him become a part of them as the animus that orchestrates his life, controlling every movement as an artfulness of deceit.

This is life, the world that is touchable, physically beautiful and pompously decorated. In full swing, the works.., within and outwardly crassly decorated as if in temptation teasing mankind in all its glory.

Yet Life is not just what one perceives it to be.

There is within oneself, the hidden secret. And that is what we’re here to understand, apart from being a part of life itself.

As he gets up and sits in his chair looking at the flesh which is him, he is incapable of understanding what or whom he is, safe for what he has been taught by his genre, fooled as if his mind is nothing but a piece of malleable instrument incapable of understanding. There is no primer on earth to guide him for he has conveniently like a donkey, professed diligently without fully exploiting the idiosyncrasies of the rectified word by his own genre. Another like himself, whom, by the Grace and Will of The Emperor, has been stoned and seemingly crucified by his own kind, for believing in the Unseen.

Man is blinded by the Source.

Exposing oneself to the Great Light, one is incapable of seeing beyond. Let alone perceiving what is beyond the Sun, in all its Glory. The irony and the hypocrisy of mankind when something is beyond their miserly capacity to understand is that, mankind will debate and argue as if the written word is theirs’ and not from an ordained entity or someone who is fortunate enough to call unto them and say “Hey, I’ve got the answers to the quandaries, and if you still want to pass the examination{s}, you’d have to comprehend and seek within yourself what is and what isn’t.” , and therefore have every “right” to rectify, when and how to their whims and fancies. Yet for the few who believe in the Unseen, there is a Guide, being uttered and revered by billions worldwide and beyond worlds unconquered by the modern man, like a gush of fresh blood pumping into the valves of each living heart., giving it life and nourishment. And even then, the knowledge to Mankind’s Gate, is only awarded through painful assimilation and neutralising the demons within as their lives are nought but One.

The idea is to separate what isn’t from what is understood. The debate in the Supreme Being’s Playground is simply this - when one is incapable of understanding {for intelligence is only awarded to those who are willing to break away from the conditioned mind and seek the path that is Truth}, and the veils of the inner demons are top ranked prime banks of the entity and the universe that is him in himself, mankind is incapable of truly giving of himself to the society that he lives in.

* Four Inner Demons - Pathos, Desire, World and the Devil.

The Inner Demons may also be widely known as the Elements, in various schools throughout the religious, spiritual, philosophy and parapsychology stratum. In Malay, it is best known as “Hawa”, “Nafsu”, “Dunia” and “Syaithan”, and in Chinese, it is commonly known as the Air, Metal, Wood and Water elements.

Life Etcetera - X - vii - ET - II

2005-10-08T00:23:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from Eminent Trinkets: Minus Zero

"Life, in reality, is not just a whimsical idea of being born, then procreation, then death, cycle in and out. It is far more complex than that. Life is a process of growth and death is the process that determines the successful process of life itself. Breath is a cycle of life, but Life in essence itself is not in need of breath to exist, nor a receptacle to prove its existence ~ AainaA"

Life Etcetera - X - vii - ET - I

2005-10-08T00:09:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from Eminent Trinkets: “ Oui, je me souviens de toi… “

It was autumn, and the leaves were almost golden. The permutation was liken fashion scenes at the Prêt à Porter or the Haute Couture, where models from the world over graced the runways in Paris, Les Tuilleries, or even somewhere in Milan. The hushes, the excitement, the adrenaline rush from one designer event to the other, the press, the media, the gossip, the stale cigarettes smoke, the pecks on the cheeks, and the cheques were all too living. Fashion amongst all the art form is a living organism. It is living, breathing, eating, fornicating the art that makes cities like Paris, Milan and London, the Centre of much decadence. Yet, it is not decadence as in the makings of Gargantuan, or Nine and a half weeks.

The faces all seemed too familiar.
The smiles, were all too hard, and delusive

Yes, I remember the Second International Fashion Festival held at Trocadero ~ Paris. I remember the multi million dollar bridal gown lavishly yet tastefully created by an Arab designer. The first of its kind in the world, and revealed by a model bodyguard at the opening. I remember the never ending podium with the graceful fountains sandwiched in between, and I remembered too, the excitement, of waiting in line for my turn to grace the first ever international fashion show of which I had the chance of participating. Hundreds of models from Europe, the Americas, Asia and South East Asia participated in that ever opulent media attraction which was televised worldwide. The waiting in tents just below the Museum unveiled me the various facades of women and men, some, revealing their true selves whilst others, as if without a care in the world suggested “Remember this face, it is the world’s best!..”

I have always loved observing how faces twitch or when smiles are controlled., when confronted with a simple and true-to-goodness question. The people I’ve met in the fashion industry, especially the models were rather insecure, even if some of them are indeed graduates of the famed Sorbonne or the Ecole Normale. Then there are those who try very hard to hide their true selves, by being aloof and distant, quiet or non-participative in their surge for being better than the other. And then there are the few who are down-to-earth, a reveal-all girl or boy with no inhibitions, of their looks, intelligence or even crude sense of style.

These are the few people whom I can easily understand and read.

They are gifted with sincere spirits, not too many phobias - hardly if ever, and downright perfect for a public relations or bi-lateral trade and foreign affair vocation. They, to me are alike children in a merry-go-round, enjoying themselves making older people laugh.

No inhibitions, just the joy of being, without fear.

I often wondered too, while waiting for the cue, whether some of us thought of The Emperor, or of our parents, maybe the dilapidated and unkempt studio on the seventh floor., or even of our future. Perhaps thinking whether we should attend the party at Le Palace., or kissing one another or exchanging instant glances after doses of Moet, of the cheques and maybe, death in all its glory. I wondered if the girls, some of whom were much taller or far more attractive than me, ever thought what the other was thinking.

I chanced upon Nora Ariffin, a very beautiful, well toned and petite Malay model from Singapore. Yet somehow in the exotic tanned beauty, something was amiss. I couldn’t really grasp what it was at the time, when I overheard her conversation with the Beijing models that were especially flown in for the Festival. She had cursed in Malay without encumbrance as if in a fit of senility, perhaps due to not finding the correct word in French, and Fahr and I burst out laughing. It surprised her indeed to find that there were other models aside her participating in the pompous affair who understood Malay.

Surprises keep us on our toes.
Surprises keep us aware that there are others far better off then ourselves.

Fahr on the other hand, like me, was at that time, just about discovering ourselves, and what we could do, without really trying very hard. Yes, I remember very well, the people who promised to be faithful and loyal, and I remembered very well, how some friends turned their backs or even caused grievances when hardship befell or success in a manner of speaking dethroned me.

Then I remembered too, my first love. He was kind, gentle and giving. But his most impassioned reason for not loving me enough was the temptation of not getting enough from me, and the presence of the crass yet phenomenal women around him. Women and their vices all kept his fly constantly opened and hardly ever out-of-service. I remembered well when he professed his assiduous love to me, and how it meant the world to him.

I laughed for I knew, somehow deep within me, there is no other love worth keeping safe that of the Master. And I knew, that no matter how much or hard I loved, I would not be as loved as I beseeched from any mortal man. I hope I am wrong, but the beloved is seldom wronged. The first lesson in love was the most painful experience for my mortal heart.

I could not understand how one could profess love and yet misuse the lover nor did I understand at the time, how one could love and hate at the same time as if there were no differentiation between the two, and in cases of circumstances, the feelings were all too superficial, too short-lived, and too assuming.

Life Etcetera - X - vi

2005-10-07T23:45:00.000-07:00

Mistress Lillith {is that how its spelt?}, had several relationships with men.

She's a devoted spouse but her husband is a man buried in pride. He touches her not and now she hopes prostitution can be legalized. I know a woman who is similar in personality to Mistress Lillith. And she blogs too. She was previously married to a cousin of mine. They're divorced now. He married another lady, and she hopes that prostitution can be legalized too.

I've been told, that not all men are maniacs. Women too, can be equally deceiving.

Lillith, when you called me - I was either on the Throne, or watching cable {and the phone is stashed somewhere in my cubicle} I will sms, perhaps call you... and we can meet up if you'd like that

Life Etcetera - X - v

2005-10-07T06:19:00.000-07:00

Hulusi, Ahmed Baki, Said Nursi, Jalaluddin Rumi, Shaikhah Sh. Rabiah AlAdawiyah, Shaikhah Sh. Siti Hawa, Nabi Allaahu `Iisa, and the many of other light beings that have, with one stroke of their glance made apparent their intelligence to the worlds within the Universe stumps the contemporary "being" in learning about his/her self{ves}

We are all one and the same.

With the light of your intelligence, or the light itself which is within you, you are capable of perceiving the reality of the whole apparent and hidden "creation" so to speak, the Gardens, the Fire, and ... the illusions. The being human, is far beyond what you believe is just someone that may look like you, or Brad Pitt, Sandra Bullock, or even your mother.

The being human, is beyond all that!

Do I need to have crossed the treshold of life so to speak, before I can even try to tell you that you are far greater than anything created, or deemed to have been created. If we take the time to comprehend the religions and religionists it will not bring about anything. We have to learn about everything especially about Islaam, Christianity, Judaism if we one to revert to a divine comprehension of what unity or in Christianity, the Trinity, means. These three "religions" are of one line. One line. One Blood, one voice, one mind - Yet... we see, how they fight against themselves to gain dominance and popularity.

The other needs the other to balance the other - that's all. Its the ego that refuses to submit that fights back.

The whole universal system is called Islaam. Islaam is not a religion. It has never been, and never will be deemed a religion. Neither is Christianity, nor Judaism.

Its a system that ends and begins with Islaam. Judaism is Islaam in the beginning, Christianity - Islaam in the middle, and Islaam {not the metaphoric Islaam} is the end of all beginnings, and beginning of all ends. So know before lashing out to what is perceived as your "enemy". The only enemy there is are the ignorant egoes, or human-like creatures. These are your enemies. Human beings are beyond all dimensions!

Theosophists, and spiritualists will agree, but it doesn't really matter if they don't either, because we're here to embrace the part which is us, and accept our defects, and then, move forwards. We can't keep on telling ourselves, our egoes that we need war in order to justify peace, because that's an excuse we give to ourselves by not using the light of our intelligence.

3rd Ramadhan 1426/7th October 2005

Life Etcetera - X - iv

2005-10-07T01:26:00.000-07:00

Nothing in life is bad - its just a matter of perception.

The earth's common language of either English, French, or Arabic does not show us the reality and essence of bad over good, and vice versa. In reality, and in the Science of Reality, and Unification as its base, shows us of polarities that exist not. In that manner, when one has reached the "Christ Within / HaqqulYaqqin" level of being, polarities, and good/bad cease to be, or are formed. Whatever the case may be, the attentive span, is blessed, and good. For the positive overule the negative connotations in the apparent world, in words, actions and thoughts.

Do whatever you may and be certain that every act will bring its consequence.

However when there's too much energy flow that is restive within the bossom area or in any area which is not spread out as a star formation, it is wise to submit the north polarity towards the southern polarity, by putting the head area {centre of gravity} at the same level as that of the feet area. Muslims have synchronised themselves in their prayers, where one sees and experience the polarities perpetual, and recharged.

Life Etcetera - X - iii

2005-10-07T00:59:00.000-07:00

Where did the part of you, that wanted so much to live Life without a care in the world, without recourse to dangers, wars and famine took you?

Where did it go?

As if the living part had seen the bigger picture of the Universe, and you've thrown yourself head-first into the dungeons of Life, to be lost in your self, without reproach, without care... or did you make a pact with Izraeel, and decided to live amongst the dead

Awaiting Death?

Exhaling the last breath of moistened vapour from the mind that has finally stilled itself like Egyptian Parchment paper awaiting

Moses

Where did the life, that renounced itself to death, to relive its ultima thule escape into a painting, waiting to be honoured, to be talked of....

Where did you go?

Life Etcetera - X - ii

2005-10-07T00:47:00.000-07:00

Playing on the keys
of the piano, in my mind
composing a tune, now that
I've seen how you can move mountains
and Oceans within my reveries

How I wish the Piano's still
at home, instead of being left
in a room, untouched unpolished

...

unsung

Sometimes, often more than ever now... I sit, and refuse contemplation - Although it is good to contemplate. Sometimes the relish of the meal disappears when the dishwasher is near you. I'd term a dishwasher, as someone who is obsessedly paranoid about being "perfect", and s/he absorbs as much of your relish before you have time to digest the moment! So for now, it is good to throw caution to the winds. The circle of life passes through a myriad of colours, experiences, and karmas before it can return home, living.

It is easy to know the truth, and learning from the correct and incorrect stances we see, experience and all.. but

Life is about being, and until the truth is your being, you can never really proclaim yourself being "Human", but rather human-like. You may beg to differ, but do you know the innermost secrets of your essence?

Be wise and draw lesson, lest they may make fun of or feel pity of you, tomorrow

Life Etcetera - X

2005-10-06T10:50:00.000-07:00

"What will you do, if you go back to Paris?" Hazman asked me over dinner, breaking the Ramadhan fast. I smiled.

"Besides slutting?" I shrugged. I'm not good at slutting or picking up men. Most men I've met have yet to impress me. Not that I've not met impressionable men.. its just that most men are just the "opposites" of my being so to speak.

"No seriously.. I'm not a slut.. " I added. I've been a celibate for as long as the world has seen real peace, and that was in the beginning when Adam and Eve were just glancing at each other.

"It's difficult to get a PR there?" he added. I can't really think of getting a PR in Europe, let alone think of going there when I'm broke. It would be nice if someone would offer me a ticket there, and with that I could at least try something. Falling in love is not an option. French men are just like their poodles you know. Besides, there's more to life than just wearing his jeans, and cooking his meals.

"...someone has offered me a Marriage of convenience" I answered.

"You mean, no **c**** and all...just marriage by name?" he asked.

"Yup.. no touching, well, you touch your friends.. but I guess, there'll be none of the sort where you'll end up playing with a joystick of some sort" I said, sending Hazman in a hysterical laughter.

"Why would you want to do such a thing? I can't see myself married to someone whom I'm not in love with" he added.

"...I fear if ever I really do get married, it would be like marrying myself, you know.. that extension of me, which is part and parcel personality of myself..Can you imagine marrying a part of you, for anything other than yourself?" I added, this time, sending Hazman perplexed as ever. When will I ever snap out of this "dream". Its not like reality has surprises in store for me these days. I've been without arms to embrace for such a long time - I think I've forgotten how to hug... or cuddle.

Of course by then, the conversation took a sharp swoop to his new discovery, of Nestle's Strawberry Yoghurt.

Ah.. Marriage divine. If only cohabitation could be simpler..., and if only the "other than me" which is part extension of me knew the bliss of Life!

Perhaps one day.. I'll learn how to hug again. For now, my teddy bear's a bit worn out ;-)

A Collective Creative Consciousness

2005-10-06T10:27:00.000-07:00

A Collective Creative Consciousness
By `AainaA-Ridtz A.R

“The root of the entire universe is nothing other than a single whole consciousness in reality. You never had anything as a being apart from such a consciousness”

1967

A child recalls and recounts her dream she had the night before to a group of friends about a reality soon-to-be realized in the near future. She tells us of, a contraption similar to a typewriter, which is not only voice enabled, but can also be used as a telecommunication device with visually enhanced technology that will bridge the worlds together in unison. She also recounted a portable telecommunication device that will make the world smaller in many ways.

That child was I.

1980

Flying at the speed of Light, the child recounts her dreams of Paris, and Jerusalem to her mother the morning after.

1982

The child left for Europe, and experienced the Minitel. {The European version of the first Arpanet / MAN}

1983

The first word processor rolled off the conveyor belt, and typewriters were soon becoming obsolete in Asia Pacific.

1985

A collective creative consciousness is being widespread across the world as the Spiritual Door is flung ajar, and humans will revert to its source divine and unify as One Mind.

1990

Asia Pacific heralded the Internet, and everyone wanted to be a part of the experience. Today, there are more Internet users than there are personal computers, automobiles, and universities.

1995

The child left for Saudi Arabia, and Israel. She took flight of a dream she had fifteen years earlier. She re-visited the home she once knew, of Makkah, Medina & Jerusalem.

1999

The child recounts a dream she had the night before, of the Nation of Stars in a Bloodbath. Whilst part of the World drowns in a deluge, The Red Dragon, The Seven Headed Serpents and The Golden Falcon will bridge a consciousness in the contemporary era heralding Systemic Mutations {Renaissance}.

2000

The child in her solace, dreams of a leveled world. New planets formed, and Suns reflecting its core centers of the Moon. Transference and Bi-locality will be health techniques, educated and practiced amongst doctors, and specialists worldwide. A seemingly new wave of practitioners will re-call ancient healing practices of Avicenna, and Ghazali.

2004

The child recalls a world destruction of water, and ice. Light Beings return to their homeland, in the Heavens whilst earth beings, are submerged and buried in the deluge.

2005

Today, I write of the Collective Creative Consciousness that resounds in your hearts, and mind, as heartbeats of a perceptive and caring personality that you are, as a human. Every individual being perceives the Light in the Mirror of the Creative Consciousness during his/her lifetime. To be able to experience the by-product or the reality so to speak, these individuals are being ‘sub-consciously’ pooled in a minor collective consciousness, to create, or initiate the process, to which I term, the Will.

The Will is tantamount to a Greater Will and is not selective of race, creed or wealth. As only perceived Light can perceive the workings of the Will, these seemingly collective emotions / thoughts are manifested as apparent physical icons on the material plane and are “created” to serve. The Internet is a fine example of this creation, which reflects that ingenuity within the thoughts of humanity, and thereafter reflects the greatness of the Omnipresent, within its apparent and hidden attributes, names, and epiphanies.

Being able to recognize and acknowledge the difference between the division of the selves and its attributes, in reality, initiates the human to step farther into the regions beyond the third dimension. The human is capable of living beyond the third. When the mind is able to perceive the realities within the veils of creations {apparent, and otherwise}, then humanity would have reached its peak of ‘existence’ so to speak, and will thus commence the ascension and embrace the root of renaissance.

In reflection, works will be stimulated towards a global purpose – ameliorating humanity’s welfare, and thereafter an initiation for a renaissance, both physically, and spiritually. The Internet will be able to muster the relationship between users, as the Laws of Locality, transmit faster than speed of sound, to touch the human and effect its changes as all apparent element are of waves, and particles electro-magnetically.

By confining, the human within a bio-energy definition will reduce its capabilities instead of enhancing its expansion beyond streaming, sub-electric energy-fields, which is in reality, beyond the third. Uncovering the chromosomic level of patterning of the human subject and glancing into a form-manifestation and recognizing these processes, will enable the creation of a tool, the Internet as an example, to become more favorable to human evolution in the ‘dual’ world, as well, as bridging the worlds closer.

“Macrocosm is the universe, while microcosm is the brain.”

“Take care of the voice of your consciousness rather than that of your drives, your instinct or of your body members”

“There is not even an atom in the universe, which is lifeless and unconscious. If you want to perceive so, remove your "veil".”

“You do not still think that "you" are real although the whole universe is an illusion, do you”

AainaA-Ridtz A.R
16 Sha’ban 1426 / 20 September 2005

This manifesto was written on invitation by Michael Pockocky, is also available in PDF.

Life Etcetera - IX

2005-10-06T02:12:00.000-07:00

La Vache qui lit - I would have clicked on it even if it read something else less hilarious - its that cheesy thingy you overdose yourself with when you've lived in France, for a wee bit too long - but you know, there's no such thing as being in France for far too long, because France is different from all those seemingly peasantly like countries of the other world. France is Venus on the map of the heavens, and if you don't believe me, go to Venus, and you'll see the Eiffel tower looking back at you. And you're not even on Valium, or your i-Pod streaming Black Eyed Peas

Okay

Someone called me and asked me why Life Etcetera is too white.

"Huh?"
"Yeah, its too white.." he added
"What do you mean, by too white?" I said

"You know... too much space"
"Euh... is too white synonymous to being spaced out?" I added

"Nevermind.."

I like white - its the state of the world right now. If it had been black, then you'd likely have to read my mind, because then I wouldn't feel like printing white on black - it'll be too tedious for your eyes non?

Its 17:20 as of writing this, and in a couple of hours, the Ramadhan feast will be broken - I mean, it'll be time to indulge in food. Imagine if you've lived your life as a pauper, and all the food you can break your fast with are just somethings you feast your eyes with... neighbours having a wonderful meal, or laughter with friends... {See where I'm going with this?} so you'd have to think deeper than that...

The world is a pauper! Don't believe me? Go look in your fridge {assuming you have one} and find anything that belongs to you. Am not being philo here, but you know what I'm talking about right?

Forgot to add that you might want to download some lit files....

The heat is on.

You can literally feel it arcing between you...

Here's a good one to start with

Making it fabulous the First Time round ;-)

Life Etcetera - VIII

2005-10-06T01:02:00.000-07:00

Faith, like love is never sought. It is matrilineal since Life immemorial. I seek neither fame, nor fortune alike many barren creators to feed my ever indulged being to that which seemingly controls the pen with which I write. Yet what is fortune, if for what I write is not the Truth. The Truth that I have lived and the Truth that I have seduced. The truth, which I have come to understand, beyond images, beyond any known refraction of intelligence known to man. I seek not recognition now and always now as in the present now, not in the never ending past, for to be recognised is not adroit for the servant - AA

The Servant, Is The Actor... Divine

Speak only of what you've experienced. Of what you've undertaken, of what you've embraced in the heat of the cold winter blissful nights.

Richard Halliday, held his arms out, on one night, when his ashes of his frailed body, were scattered at Port Dickson the weekend before. He whispered.

"Drop by when you can. It can be lonely here"

If only he knew how lonely it is to be a vagrant here.. and the world talks of eradicating poverty. What so-called enigmatic leaders, these human-like creatures impose on human beings, and destroy the very essence of living, so to speak.

It is good being seen as a mirror to the worlds - It's better when one is mirror the the Essence. Even being the dot of the "Ba", or the light of the Sun, the mind-chattering of the adept seem much a veil as any other...

Speak only of what you've experienced...

Succulent Affair

2005-10-06T00:58:00.000-07:00

Dark, his skin beckons
Me to taste and slice the meat
Off, enriched with goodness
Only the heart can savour
Though through the tongue
Its bitter-sweetness reigns
Alike a king
Sweet, pungent and killing
Acidic, the flowing juice, a
Reminiscent of past joys

Sweet renderings, tis sweet as honey
This love I miss amidst
tasting pleasures, none have I miss
amidst displeasures
the groins of nature plucked
like raisins sweet ready
to be squashed and trampled
like bodies intertwine

How beauty colours the brazen
Jars in winter pure, hardened
Embracing juice in dark cellars
A succulent affair
That drenches the body warm to
Silent madness of twirls, spirals
And dances… meshed between
Blood and soul

AainaA-Ridtz A.R, August 2003

Life Etcetera - VII

2005-10-06T00:38:00.000-07:00

Absolute existence is beyond human comprehension. You would need to break away from the shell, your shell, in order to fully comprehend or perceive what the Universe is and isn’t. Or what you are and are not. One cannot talk about death, unless one has died, and in the metaphorical sense, most humans are actually dead, meaning, they are incapable of perceiving the truth about themselves, and have to resort to hypothesis, and the likes of discoveries based on their perceptive vision which is not in absolute reality, the truth - AA

Hisham, Store Manager of Starbucks Summit called me last night. Someone must've passed him my mobile number. I hate it when people do that without asking MY PERMISSION first before passing out my number, as if I'm a popular tart to be served around the human populace for the sake of listening to his rants, and justification of sorts. Oh gawd, I'm having a quadrillionth deja-vu experience writing this as it is, so this must have been etched in the Lote Tree, even if it was just a glimpse into the nature of what things are not - Hisham, Starbucks, and the whole child-like issue of being "human-like".

Haven't you noticed how human-like creatures just have to do things opposite of what humans do? Like as if their minds just went dead or something, or the Light of Intelligence didn't show up somewhere in the scanner of life!

Whilst I'm at this stage, perhaps you'd want to consider helping me out? A donation would do good - Drop a couple of dollars to help me out with AaliiaA Univ. Foundation - We need as much as we can to make this project a reality. You can read more about it at http://www.AainaA.com/ but it wouldn't be there long, since the host, is transfering the files to another server, and ... you know how long that might take {if ever}, and how successful it would be. Most likely, I'd have to re-install the software, and re-write everything there again.

We are really in need of our own server, our own bank account, etcetera.., our dedicated volunteer team to setup things, and projects, amongst other things, and ... the World Tour must be undertaken, for the Foundation. At least the Children of the World would benefit from this. Battered women too, will be taken care of, but that's in phase II.

Thank you for dropping some of your loose change by Telegraphic Transfer {TT} to Malayan Banking Berhad A/C # 514178055464, in the name of AainaA-Ridtz A.R. SWIFT Code: MBBEMYKL

Till, tomorrow, or so..

Life Etcetera - VI

2005-10-05T08:06:00.000-07:00

Death is a tax the soul has to pay for having had a name, and a form

The Heretic

2005-10-05T08:03:00.000-07:00

it takes more than
a lifetime to figure out
takes more than a year
to discover the selves for
within the apparent of
a man, is his woman
the hidden of a lady,
her man
the egg is a metaphor
formed in the eyes for the
outsight

imagine if you will
the moment of
a desire

if i told you
that there is but
You that exist, and reflections
of wars are your
personalities, you’d call
me a madman, a folly
...someone dying for

A T T E N T I O N ...

not what I seek but to
show you when hearts embrace
in worlds unformed

“I am your secret, as You
are Mine”

in silence awe we
embrace the emptiness yet
our hearts pump love
ready for re-birth from within
the hidden
an unformed apparent

what is this world but
a celebration of images seen
in a mind reflected
in a dance

of the blasphemous heretic
awaiting to be burnt at
the stake for expressing

Love Divine

ARAR Ramadhan 1426/Oct 2005

Evaluate Yourself

2005-09-29T00:41:00.000-07:00

A Friend, sent me this note, and thought I'd share it with you...

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?" The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. Send this phrase to the people you'll never forget. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them.

Do not value the THINGS you have in your life.. But value WHO you have in your life!

Life Etcetera - V

2005-09-26T23:54:00.000-07:00

The pain is excruciating.

I woke up with a terrible stretch on my left arm, and waist. And to make matters more enticing, my late Shaikh, Natsir Abdi visited me, and left me with a verse to be memorized. I can't for the love of me remember the Verses. All I remember, is that its seven verses, and need to be carefully understood, before returning Home. Yes, home is Home, but you know what I'm talking about, if you're from beyond!

Yes... home seems like such a long way to go. I've met many icons here on planet Earth, that sometimes, the thought of them playing their roles and making my life a wee bit difficult, will be daunting for them on the Day. I can wait, and punishing them today, would only account for them returning into a newer form, unlearned, and ignorant! Besides, its not my jurisdiction to throw lightning bolts, hurricanes, and...

I've moved on.

I've updated AainaA, and will be updating AainaA.com later. We're almost a stone throw's away from Ramadhan, and everyone who is anyone is talking about it. The sages are careful about this year's Ramadhan. October promises a fiesta of sorts for the world.

I've nothing much to say, safe that I won't be long here...

Besides Natsir, Azman {my dad's peon} visited me too, and conveyed his regards for Dad. I conveyed his message, and dad, was not the least surprised. I do get visits from those that have crossed the tresholds.., and yes, I will not be returning once I've moved on.

The last chapter is best closed, and reserved for readings by the priviledge "Elite of the Elite", don't you think?

The Teacher, & Teaching

2005-09-19T05:28:00.000-07:00

Truth by its very nature cannot be uttered, cannot be given. One cannot give that which cannot be put into speech. So the teacher gives a method for finding the truth, for unfolding it, for unlocking that which seems to be in one's heart. No real teacher, no true mystic, has ever claimed to be able to give one anything like this.

It is clearly impossible for anyone to impart his knowledge to another person; he can only show him how to unfold his own knowledge to himself.

Everybody possesses a kingdom, but he has to find it. The seeker will find it easy to discover the truth when he has the help of someone who himself has trodden the path towards it.

Unformed

2005-09-19T00:15:00.000-07:00

Formless, formed from within Light
Water droplets within clouds
And smiles as growth permeates
On earth trodden, and dried, murdered
Of hands toiled in brazen heat

Breaths exhaled
Danced beings within veils
Embraced aliken yarns of endless pain
Tearing tears, breaking hearts
Of endings that seem bleak in an unending flight

The bumblebee flies around the Light
Infused perfume of moistened glazed honey
Amidst flowers delight, danced hearts enjoyed
When tongues suckle the sweetness of Life
Light unto Light, uniting strengths in Faith

Each cloak of Knowledge infuses Hope, within
Bents untouched, aspired and yearned, jumped the
Hearts devoid of Love, how insecure Life can be
Naught if only,

…

Aliken bumblebee toils the hands
With Love, embraced within sheets of blankets
Veiled the dances of lusts, and grained within colors
Of voices, unheard, unsung

…

Unformed

Starlight, Starbright

2005-09-18T20:53:00.000-07:00

Good friends are like stars...You don't always see them,
but you know they are always there

Life Etcetera - IV

2005-09-13T07:01:00.000-07:00

So, someone... decided to leave me a Will! And I don't even know her. Sound's like a fairy tale innit?

Well, considering the sizeable thingy she's leaving me, it is. But to touch the goodie, I have to ensure the Monitoring people in Europe, I'm not involved in any of the world's terrorising crimes. {yeah like as if I have nothin' better to do!}

I leave all these in the Hands of The Lord AlMighty. If it's meant for me, then nothing can withold it from me. If its not meant... easy come, easy go. No point compromising unity for a glimpse of Heaven on Earth. Afterall, I'm sure Dina would scream at me for letting go of the opportunity, but I don't have US$8k for a Clearance Certificate!

We could do much with the Will - amongst others...

Establishment of AaliiaA
Creation of Media House
...bla bla bla bla bla
...and more

and being a vagrant is not of choice... I'm placed herein. And as all things is only possible with The Lord AlMighty, I leave this affair to Him Alone.

Life Etcetera - III

2005-09-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

Someone left a comment on my previous blog. She told me to be discreet, because she fears that I may spill the beans.

It's her life.

If she wants to live in fear and thinks that by telling the world about her sex life is denomination of the common world then by all means!, she should live in fear {although I'd advise otherwise!} , and by asking me not to reveal her real identity, may instigate me to do otherwise. But I'm AainaA, and I don't indulge in small meanderings. Especially when it comes to divulging the secrets of others. If they want to live that way {in fear}, they should'nt have blogged in the first place. Like as if, the world {or the Universe} is encased in a shrine!.

Secrets, small or big will one day be unveiled in front of the Lord AlMighty, on the Day {of Resurrection!}

Two things didn't add up to her stories about RH - The hospital, and the colour of his eyes. But then again, I never really looked into his eyes to discern the colour nor was I ever involved intimately with him. The only eyes I actually looked into were Dirk's. And the only eyes that captivated me for a while. I still remember his face, though RH's has faded over the hours. He {RH's spirit} did stop by a week before he left this world.

Though I do wonder what Dirk {Dzialoszynski} is up to these days. If he's well, or eating properly, ... The past reminds you of things. As much as the past has been raptured, I did not break the bond {of friendship / silaturrohiim}. I did warn him though, if he brought Anne [the girl who was previously known as NurAini {who was/is his playmate of the month!}, who reverted to Christianity] - family into the project that we were involved in, I would leave the country.

He did. I left... to Abu Dhabi.

But that's the past. And the past makes us think... of the future.

Love Enraptured

2005-09-08T00:52:00.000-07:00

Waters rise in humdrum
Escalates crashing onto shores
Tearing ages against the grain
Clawing, reeking into Love enraptured
Like bamboo, it curves a dance
Stealing glances of silence awe
Pearls drop from Eyes of Reflection
Clawing, reeking into Love enraptured
Wings drenched in tears uncurled
Sore lifts its dreading flight, "Fly
Little one, Fly!" she cried
Voices unheard in restless beats
Clawing, reeking into Love enraptured
When oceans burn, when tears raze
When hearts are devoid of honeyed embrace
Coldness stench the grounds of wretchedness
...
Clawing, reeking into Love enraptured

Of Fathers

2005-09-07T23:31:00.000-07:00

Fathers are supposed to be kind, gentle, compassionate. They should be selfless, and guide their daughters, and not in their anger, ever, ever slap their daughters, even if they're dealing with the worlds get into a landslide of no return.

Nor should they ever disown them, even if they've failed to give material goodness in return.

Children are little angels, even when they've aged over time. They pray for you, and never put grudges in their hearts. Ever.

I forgive you dad, but your account is with The Lord AlMighty now

Life Etcetera - II

2005-09-06T01:37:00.000-07:00

Ah...... this is how you sigh, long and deep.

Sometimes, you just want to switch everything off! Sometimes, switching off is better than switching on the Light for too long. People are unappreciative of the Light. One day, they will see the Sun, will shed its Light too. Then they will realise that they've taken Light for granted.

Hell is NOT hot! You'd have to bring your own fire to the party!

I'm contemplating a new playground

That is what Life is all about - Living! Not drudgeries of what humans perceive as life, adding years to it instead of living it.

Which would you prefer? Death, aliken change is certain. What isn't is the evolution and transitional periods/moments. During this evolution, do we seek death, or life?

It's all in your hands. Would you rather live, or make fools out of yourselves?

Life Etcetera

2005-09-06T00:05:00.000-07:00

An apparent material of hydrogen and oxygen, to which the matters hydrogen in itself is a separate entity which when enveloped with oxygen produces water, but it is not water per se full and filled with the spirit of the Essence. When humans produce water out of the formulae, the product is devoid, as in the case of cloning, the spirit, of the Essence.

So know this when talking of creation, and see the difference between what is creation, and the Creator.

Richard Halliday

2005-09-03T06:48:00.000-07:00

Richard came over last night, in my "nightly vision". He was dressed in white, and did not air the frail, sickly demeanour when he was "alive", here.

He said, smiling "Now, I understand... the reality of Reality". I nodded. I added that now that he's on the other side, he had to move forwards, as the past is in the past.

Buried.

He smiled. He added that he had the inclination of Reality, whilst still living here, but each time he wanted to grasp it, it slipped off his fingers. He only realised that there are others, whilst still on Planet Earth, have been living the "Reality" without telling or talking of it. He was grateful to the Lord, and thankful, that he had met me.

I smiled.

Whichever side of the worlds you're in, the Reality does not veil itself.

So know...

Word

2005-09-03T03:11:00.000-07:00

"And Thy Lord, Created The Word.."

The Word.

To know it, live it, and embrace it.

To perceive the whole universe, its innings, its DNA structure, to its most minutiest ottomicron is similar in "design" as the whole. Yet, you know... it is part particle of what you are, the dusts that envelops the very essence of the Word.

Recognize "The Word". To do injustice against The Word, without fully comprehending the nature of Creation, the Creator, is to invite the Divine Wrath!

The Word, spells out... a Beauty undefined, unformed..

Marriage

2005-09-03T03:02:00.000-07:00

Its the marriage of divine unity. The culmination of all apparent and hidden, the missing and the craving, the carefree joys, and sadness, the two rings of the worlds.

Tying the Knot.

How I've missed You!

There is nothing worth the glorification safe You!

B13

2005-09-02T01:18:00.000-07:00

Summer is not such a brilliant time to look out for French movies, in Malaysia. You either get one of the monochrome ones being “marketed” in Petaling Street, carrying a familiar face of Delon, or someone much older. In addition, if you were lucky, it would not be a silent one.

A remake of “Eclipse from New York”, B13 or “Banlieu Treize”, is produced by Luc Besson, with tripping music accompanying several kamikaze action moves that would most likely make Malaysia’s “Blockbuster Movies” jokes of the previous century. Albeit, many would take to the tango on the rooftops, just to prove that they are still capable of producing films for the masses.

I cannot really say much about the cinematography. Its Luc’s design, and in its rare form, it’s a French delight, as always. Da Octopuss’ ethnic trip makes it worthwhile for you to rip the score pumping up to full blast on your iPod. It makes good dancing music; at least if you are into experimental dance, it would likely be something you would work your system.

Where is fictional B13? Which part of Banlieu Paris? One can only guess towards the end of the movie, when the players mentioned the zip code. If you are Parisien, or French, or someone who has lived there, you would most likely figure out where B13 might be. Otherwise, it would be another “shot in the dark” figuring out whether such a place ever existed, and if so, why it is in such a deprived condition.

Apart from the makeshift script, which you would most likely figure out is not scripted out as most movie scripts, the players did quite well – well, almost! It is a male-dominated movie – there is only one girl, and the other, is an extra. I presume they were added in at the last moment just so; it would carry some “emotional quotient” in its rude awakening following many passé American action movies.

Game developers should take heed – B13 would make a good java multiplayer game. There are many exits and entries within the area that would make a good strategic community game. To add to the excitement, the developers could also replace the Mongolian Bouncer at the entrance with perhaps, an android of some sort, a la Wolfenstein Castle…or the famous DOS’ Bitmap-Brothers’ GODS.

The movie is not the least surprising. There are many running, shooting, ugly looking cars {a male’s fantasy!}, and… it is quite haphazard. A bit disappointing, but it makes something to watch for during white nights, when nothing decent is showing over the cable. Besides, watching European men acting for a change is good for the heart.

About

2005-09-02T00:21:00.000-07:00

Life Etcetera, previously known as "AainaA" on Blogspot, is now the official blog, where I jot aspirations, dreams, pent-up frustrations for myself. Friends may drop by off and on, to learn of the evolution over the Internet months, years, or ottoseconds without having to seive through tons of emails, to stay abreast of how AainaA is going on. Whether she is still living, whether she has a paying job, whether she's enamoured with a male human, whether she is crying her hearts out on white nights...etcetera

Life Etcetera covers the inciteful haunts of a vagrant {fakiira} whose world, is found within your hearts, within your nightmares, and joys. If you have a word to comment, do so with concern for yourself.. for none other than You, sees what is right in the mirror, of Life.

Welcome, to Life Etcetera...